Monday, March 27, 2006

My worst enemy: Part One.

Why must cookies hate me so?

Why must they punish me with containers that seem, at first glance, almost childishly simple?

Why must my attempts to create a perfectly folded and closed cookie container always result in crippling failure.

Why do the cookie men mock me so?

Next up: Sobeys Chicken (Goddamn Sobeys Chicken...)

What's the big deal with airline peanuts ...and assholes?

So what's the big deal?

I'm gone for a couple of months and not one friendly comment on the blog?

Thank God for the folks who keep posting their own links in the comment section.

It is through their sentences and links full of broken english and cheap Viagra that have taught me the meaning of true friendship.

So to reiterate, comments good.

Or you can always follow the old familiar adage:
"If you like something, tell your friends,
If you don't, you can go fuck yourself".

Ah...Mom. Such a kidder.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Slender or graceful in figure or outline; slim.

Situation: 4:30 pm on a Thursday with the day slowly winding down. 3 employees remain.

Co-worker 1: Looks like a real skeleton crew we've got here.

Me: That's just cause we're so svelte.

Co-worker 2: Yeah! Or because we're so skinny!

Me: But...svelte means skinny.

Co-worker 2: Oh...I thought you meant svelte like the fish.

Me: Oh.